I was working on my interviews for Murder Thriller Week (if you haven’t checked it, do so here) yesterday when my muse poked her head in the room wondering what I was doing. When she found out I was working on interviews, she became livid. Nobody ever interviews me! She shouted and stomped her foot. As writers, we know that whatever our muse wants, our muse gets. So, without further ado, an interview with my muse.
Can you introduce yourself a bit?
Hi! *Waves and giggles* I’m Dena’s muse. It’s a pretty cushy job. All I have to do is think up writing ideas and throw them at her. I can do that shit in my sleep.
When did you first become Dena’s muse?
I was a really young and naïve muse when I was assigned to Dena. I think she was five or something. She was just learning to write but thought she could somehow write stories even though cursive writing was still beyond her skillset. Oh man, the girl would never shut up.
Why did you abandon Dena for two decades?
Did she tell you that? That brat! I totally did not abandon her. Can I help it if she became this overachiever determined to work full-time and finish college before she was even allowed to legally drink? I don’t think she had time to use the bathroom, let alone listen to little ol’ me. And then that whole military thing? A muse and the military? Um no, that’s not a combination anyone wants to see. I spent a lot of time on vacation in those years. Guns are icky.
Why are you fond of giving Dena ideas at 3 a.m. or when she’s busy with something else?
Duh. *Rolls eyes* Because it’s so much fun. OMG! Watching Dena freak out trying to remember an idea when she’s in the car and can’t write it down? Better than Netflix, and I love Netflix. She recently discovered the ability to dictate notes while driving. Talk about ruining a girl’s fun! Good thing the software sucks, and she mostly gets gobbledygook. Hopefully she’ll give up trying soon and I can go back to whispering sweet nothings in her ear while she’s driving. Oooh! When there’s ton of traffic? Even more fun.
When you aren’t sprouting writing ideas what do you do?
Mostly I hang out with the dog. He loves to sleep and chillax – two of my absolute favorite things in the world. He’s a hoot, that dog. Whenever he farts, he wakes up and looks around in surprise wondering what was that noise? Who did that? Every. Single. Time. He’s nearly nine-years-old. It never gets old.
Can you explain why you sometimes give Dena tons of ideas and are MIA at other times?
Besides being tons of fun? Geesh. No reason to get angry. Can’t a muse have some fun? The answer is sooo obvious, if Dena would just pay attention. I am always giving the girl tons of ideas, but she’s not always open to them. Sometimes her life gets busy and she gets stressed (the girl can stress, let me tell you) and then she turns her mind off to me. Nothing I can do if the girl won’t listen. Did I mention how stubborn she is?
Do you know any other muses?
I’m sure there’s a club for muses or some other such nonsense. Not interested. Who wants to hang out with some wisecracker who spends the whole day whispering in your ear? Not me.
Thanks Dena’s muse for taking time to answer our questions this morning.
Sure, no problem. You could have warned me Dena was going to set the alarm for 6:30 a.m. this morning before I agreed to do a morning interview. *Waves good-bye* Anyone seen where the dog’s sleeping? Never mind. I’ll find him.